The 1990’s was perhaps a blur of too many episodes of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’, leg warmers and ‘Clarissa Explains It All’ for a high percentage of our readers, so would the band with the same name as this comical decade float our boats as much?
Following recent support slots with the likes of The Long Blondes and CSS, and with an album as sweet in composure and content as it sounds, ‘Cookies’, we decided it was time to speak to the band and see if they really are as witty and cheeky as their lyrics lead us to believe.
To get a delectable range of answers we created a mixture of questions possibly composed when intoxicated over a swift pint (or two) to see what the 1990’s are really made of. We however were not prepared for the results….
If you were a superhero what would you be?
Jackie: I’m not wearing any tights, even though I know it’s a standard issue. I’m not really into superheroes.
Jamie: I would be the Flash because he’s the fastest man alive.
Michael: I would be Mr. Muscle! Just purely for cleaning up purposes and I could also perhaps tidy up any situation.
Jamie: Gosh what a good answer, wish I would have thought it through more…
If you were a cocktail what you be and what would the essential ingredients be in this delightful mix?
Jamie: Whiskey.
Jackie: a subtle pitcher of whiskey and coke.
All burst into laughter….
Jamie: Erm what would that one be called?
Jackie: A va va va voom.
Jackie: Sex on the beach. Standing up.
Micheal: What’s in a screaming orgasm? I’ll have one of them.
Jackie: I’m going for a Sex on The Beach, a sandy arse…..
What is your favourite Jacket Filling?
Jackie: My arms and body.
Michael: What was that one I had in London?
Jamie: I’m picking chilli and cheese.
Michael: I’m going to say smoked haddock.
Fused: Eh, that’s very posh isn’t it?
Jamie: Oh he’s from London see.
So you’re not Scottish then we feel robbed? We won’t ask you which part of Scotland you come from then…
Jackie: (to Michael) You are from that part in Scotland called ‘Croydon’ right?
Michael: Everyone thinks I sound English for some reason.
As we are currently present at the opening of the Frog Club night in Birmingham we wanted to ask an animal related question….if you were an animal what would you be and why?
Jackie: A donkey. Because I love donkeys, they are very sad creatures…I once saw a donkey being bullied by a horse. I don’t like horses, especially miniature horses, they are scumbags.
Michael: An organ grinding monkey.
Jamie: The man does the grinding not the monkey.
Michael: Well that makes it all the more special, it’s settled then.
What is the most random story or myth your parents told you that you believed?
Jackie: I don’t think my mom even told me any stories.
Michael: My Granddad told me Stevie Wonder wasn’t blind and he was just having everyone on.
What were you all like at school?
Jamie: I was right slutty poof up until about 15 and I discovered hash and acid.
Jackie: I never had no friends at all at primary school. I was really quiet and got bullied. Then at secondary school it all kicked off.
Michael: I was a bit of a swotty kid.
Jackie: I never went to school after about the age of thirteen. We had lots of teacher strikes but we used to pretend there were strikes all the time to our parents so we could have more time off.
If you could start a tabloid rumour about yourselves what would it be?
Jackie: Seeing Kate Moss behind Pete Doherty’s back and she likes it. Just grabbing a kiss here and there. I would take her biscuits to eat in bed.
Fused: Well is that because Pete’s a jammy dodger?
Jamie: We actually got in trouble in a tabloid in Scotland the other week. The main reason was we called Scotland ‘Rubbish’.
Fused: Tut tut tut…
Jackie: It was when we were playing in New York. We went on stage for this thing called ‘Tartan Week’ to promote Scotland.
Jamie: Yes we were meant to promote Scotland.
Jackie: All I said though was “why would you all want to come to Scotland this is he best city in the world. Do yourselves a favour and stay in NY.” I thought I made it sound nice. Really it was because this lady had wondered down to the gig who was a Scottish school teacher so we made her furious with our remark. She then rang the Scottish papers and was demanding that we should be hung drawn and quartered. Then there was a massive two page feature in the paper back home that said ‘Scots rock act slate nation in NYC gig’.
Jamie: No but the best bit was underneath the photo it said ‘1990’s said Scotland was…horse rubbish’
If you could spend one day as someone else who would it be and why?
Jamie: Pete Doherty.
Jackie: My girlfriend….what a great life she must lead.
Jamie: I’ve changed my mind…his girlfriend. (Jamie then tweaked John’s nipple)!
Michael: I feel left out now….
Jackie: I would like to be you (pointing to Michael) so I can F**k your girlfriend.
The band then get into an in depth conversation on how all the various combinations would actually work.
Fused: This is really turning out to be band wife swap…
‘Cookies’ is out now on Rough Trade
Words: Kimberley Owen and Cassie Smyth